The How to Explain Death to Children and Young People and Help Them Cope Guide offers compassionate guidance for adults supporting children and young people through the experience of bereavement. The resource includes practical advice on explaining death, understanding children’s unique ways of processing grief, and fostering a supportive environment for healing.
Key Sections and Recommendations:
Helping Children Understand Death:
- Children process grief differently from adults and may switch between sadness, anger, excitement, and denial. The guide emphasises that children need simple, honest explanations of death—using terms like “dead” instead of euphemisms like “gone to sleep” to avoid confusion and anxiety.
Using Developmentally Appropriate Language:
- For younger children, understanding that death is irreversible and universal may take time. Adults are advised to explain death in clear language suitable for the child’s age, and repeatedly if necessary, to reinforce their understanding. Children aged 5-8, for example, may begin to understand death as permanent, while teenagers may grapple with it more maturely but often need privacy and peer support.
Addressing Self-Blame and Guilt:
- The guide notes that children may feel responsible for the death, especially if they recall recent arguments or negative thoughts. It’s crucial to reassure them that their actions or thoughts did not cause the death.
Supporting Children During the Funeral:
- Children benefit from the opportunity to attend the funeral and participate in ways that feel comfortable to them, such as viewing the body or placing a special item in the coffin. Having a trusted adult present to answer questions and provide emotional support can make the experience more manageable.
Managing Long-Term Effects:
- Bereaved children may display changes in behaviour, such as difficulty concentrating, sleep disturbances, or even regressive behaviours. The guide encourages adults to provide consistent routines and give children space to express grief at their own pace.
Addressing Traumatic Death:
- In cases of traumatic death, such as an accident, children may need specialised support to process trauma. Barnardo’s offers guidance on accessing trauma-focused resources for children struggling with distressing memories or symptoms of trauma.
Barnardo’s Resources and Support Services:
- Barnardo’s offers an advice line for adults supporting grieving children and provides individual and group support for children and young people up to 18 years old.
The Child Bereavement Service Guide is a valuable tool for anyone supporting bereaved children, offering practical advice on helping them navigate grief and reinforcing that their feelings are valid and manageable. This resource ensures children have space to process loss, build understanding, and feel supported throughout their bereavement journey.
