The Backpack Connection Emotions Guide on Jealousy by TACSEI (Technical Assistance Center on Social Emotional Intervention for Young Children) is a helpful resource for parents and teachers aiming to support young children in understanding and managing feelings of jealousy. Part of the Backpack Connection Series, this guide offers practical strategies for both home and school to help children recognise and cope with jealousy constructively, promoting social-emotional development and reducing challenging behaviour.
Key Sections and Strategies:
Understanding Jealousy in Children:
- Jealousy is described as a common emotion that can be difficult for young children to manage due to their limited skills in identifying and expressing complex feelings. The guide explains that jealousy might lead to challenging behaviours like tantrums or aggression, which can mask the underlying emotion. By recognising and responding to jealousy, adults can help children develop healthier ways of coping with it.
Practical Tips for Parents to Try at Home:
- Notice and Label Feelings: Parents are encouraged to recognise and name jealousy when they see it. For example, saying, “I can see it makes you sad and jealous when I have to spend time with the baby,” validates the child’s feelings and provides them with language to express their emotions.
- Dedicated Quality Time: Spending one-on-one time with the child—without distractions like phones or TV—helps strengthen the parent-child relationship and reassures the child of their importance.
- Sharing Personal Experiences: By sharing their own experiences with jealousy, parents can normalise the emotion and discuss positive ways to cope, providing children with relatable examples.
- Acknowledge Differences: Teaching children that everyone has unique strengths and interests helps them appreciate diversity and reduces comparisons, which can fuel jealousy.
- Focus on Strengths: Highlighting the child’s unique qualities helps build self-esteem. For example, acknowledging how a child’s smile makes others happy reinforces their sense of value.
Learning About Jealousy at School:
- In classroom settings, teachers help children embrace their differences and recognise the value in diversity. By using stories, pictures, and toys that represent varied abilities, backgrounds, and lifestyles, children learn that differences are something to celebrate rather than compare.
Long-Term Benefits of Recognising and Managing Jealousy:
- When children learn to identify and understand jealousy, they develop essential coping skills that contribute to lifelong emotional health. Recognising jealousy as a normal emotion helps children navigate relationships and manage their emotions more effectively.
Using Books and Stories:
- Reading books about jealousy and discussing the characters’ feelings provides an accessible way for children to learn about and explore their own emotions. This approach helps build emotional vocabulary and fosters empathy.
Bottom Line:
The Backpack Connection Guide on Jealousy empowers parents and educators to work together in supporting children’s social-emotional development. By normalising jealousy and providing strategies to manage it, this guide equips children with the skills to understand and handle their feelings in a healthy, constructive way.



